Jerk Music Critic: Yello, Stella

Everyone has heard at least one song on this album. In fact, most people have only heard one song on this album, and that's "Oh Yeah," a thematically light but relentlessly earwormy synthogroove nowadays synonymous with gluttonous indulgence (and Ferris Bueller). Indeed, this album was an attempt to get past their sometimes excessively autostimulatory early style (see, particularly, Solid Pleasure), and while for the general listening audience they only hit pay dirt once, there's certainly more here to enjoy than merely that. Yello's trademark affected spoken word musings don't wear well on this album either (especially on "Desert Inn" or "Let Me Cry"), but its strongest tracks lead off with a bang, "Oh Yeah" included but also the noirish tongue-in-cheek "Desire," the infectious "Vicious Games" (sung by Rush Winters, who reappears for the similar but no less worthy "Angel No" at the end) and the absolutely bonkers "Koladi-Ola." The second half is unfortunately less accomplished despite a credible attempt at substance: the deep philosophical thoughts of "Domingo" aren't brought out by the aggressive guitars or the spitfire lyrics, and neither the drearily overwrought "Sometimes (Dr. Hirsch)" nor the grim yet unsympathetic "Let Me Cry" have any real breakthrough moments, though "Angel No" successfully redeems itself with a welcome callback to the first side. A particular oddity of this album — possibly reflecting its original provenance as an opera — are the periodic bloodcurdling screams on many of the tracks (the startlingly complex instrumental "Stalakdrama" in particular) and the overall spare production which both give the listener the impression of being trapped in a europop torture chamber, though I really mean this in the best possible way. There's a lot here to like and a lot here to ignore, but either way you get a lot, and none of it is anything you've ever heard before except for that one song you already have. The 2005 reissue includes "Blue Nabou," the B-side for "Vicious Games" and a decent song of its own, but the other three shoveled-on remixes of "Oh Yeah," "Desire" and even "Vicious Games" itself seem more commercially cynical than musically innovative. At least early mixes have historical interest even if they suck, whereas these wreck the artistic appeal of the originals in a vain attempt to get on DJ setlists. No thanks. (Content: no concerns, though "Stalakdrama" may be a little intense for young ones.)

🌟🌟🌟🌟

Express Yourself

The Jerk Music Critic is a collection of amateur music reviews I wrote largely non-professionally between the 1990s and today. Some of these reviews are contemporary and some are retrospective, and a few are rather dated, but all are intended to be free-standing and permanent records of my completely worthless musical opinion. They are presented in no particular order and "new" reviews that occur may actually be simply prior ones I've only now transcribed. Older reviews have been edited to hopefully remove inaccuracies later revealed, as well as add brief content advisories (see "Smash the PMRC") and, where reissues exist with different tracks, brief commentaries on these later additions (the actual star review was not altered).

If you're looking for a specific artist, or just interested to see what I really liked (or really didn't), "When I Break Down" indexes reviews by artist and by number of stars awarded (see "Star Chart" for an explanation).

As we move deeper into the Internet music age where the album format might seem hopelessly antiquated, there is still some artistic value in the LP to those artists who still take advantage of it, and some of these recordings can only be properly appreciated in that context. I hope you enjoy these reviews and recommendations, and don't take them too seriously. — Cameron Kaiser

Star Chart

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
An instant classic. Substantially advances/d the state of the art, either technologically, stylistically, or (preferentially) both, and is outstanding music besides. Buy it.

🌟🌟🌟🌟
A excellent album. Nearly every song is a gem; nearly every piece is a winner. Falls short of 5 stars for want of that certain special something, but the difference is in impact, not in musical quality. Buy it.

🌟🌟🌟
Solid. Mostly good songs with a few clinkers. Salvageable with a good playlist. Buy it cheap.

🌟🌟
Mixed. Some good songs stand out, but not enough to make it listenable as a whole. Buy the good songs on iTunes.

🌟
Bad. One or two tracks of even decent quality. Buy the good songs cheap on iTunes.

💩
How did this get released?

Smash the PMRC

I don't advocate for censorship or unnuanced black and white stickers, but I do advocate for parents being able to raise kids in the way they see fit, which might include introducing albums of controversial yet artistic merit at a point in their child's life when they can better appreciate it. The content summaries are intended to be a very general guide, reflective of only my own personal sensibilities and mine alone, and do not substitute in any way for a parent actually sitting down and listening to the album themselves. If you excessively rely on my content advisories, then I'm the one raising your kid, and you really don't want that.